blessed are the peacemakers.

what does it mean to be a peacemaker in the kingdom of god? does it mean that we avoid conflict with each other? "if it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."

but is it even possible to live in relationship with one another in a community without conflict? conflict builds intimacy, so i don't believe we should avoid it. rather, perhaps we should ask how to be a peacemaker and a peacekeeper when conflict does arise.

being a peacekeeper means being humble and gentle. it means striving not to be offensive, and recognizing when you have offended. it means being quick to make amends. it means believing the best about the people around you, and in doing so, having the grace to overlook an offense toward you. a peacemaker shouldn't stand at a distance and avoid intimacy with her community. instead, a peacemaker should embrace everything that comes with fellowship - and this includes the inevitable conflict. a peacemaker should be quick to apologize, quick to forgive, quick to forget. she should be slow to become angry, slow to judge, and slow to accuse.

a peacemaker's heart longs for reconciliation and intimacy with her Father and with her community. she is bent towards love and has a heart that is soft towards people. the holy spirit is her companion and she is able to listen to him, even in the middle of conflict and strife.

-- please comment. i'm working on an article on this topic. this is a very rough sketch of what the article would include, but any feedback is appreciated. thanks! --

my fairy tale life.

i really believe i am the luckiest woman in the whole wide world. here's why:

i am HAPPY. that's a pretty huge deal these days. compared to people around me, and the American public at large. but not only that - it's a huge deal for me. i have struggled my entire life to be really, truly happy. i've thrown myself in headfirst to things that i imagined would bring me happiness, only to be desperately disappointed.

but here i am, 25 years into it, and i've found happiness. i have a loving, wonderful husband who delights in me and is proud to let me delight in him. all morning he has been singing songs, inserting his nickname for me into them. he lights up when i do the same thing. our lives are one life now, and neither of us have any regrets. we have the same purpose, the same goals, and the same dreams. our marriage is drenched in love love love.

i have a community of other Jesus followers that i live life with. my house church is full of other Christians who have different perspectives and personalities, and i wouldn't know what to do without them. we meet together and struggle through life and philosophy, but best of all, we love each other. despite our flaws. we worship together, pray together, learn together, eat together, work together, and serve together. it's a beautiful example of the church.

and outside my house church, i have other friends who mean the world to me. sarah, who has been a faithful devoted friend since we were freshman in high school. tara, who i love to love, despite our differences. my life would not be complete without these girls. they are an essential part of my happiness and my sanity.

and my family is incredible. i have the coolest people of all time in my family. my mother is a passionate, loving woman who only wants to be good and right. she is one of the bravest people i've ever met. my brother jordan was born with a heart overflowing with love and compassion. plus, he's interested in everything. and one of the smartest people ever. top two, with my sister hannah. i'm not sure who's smarter. but hannah knows EVERYTHING, and she is so unique and beautiful. and my baby sister bonnie belle has the gift of friendship. she has more friends than anyone in the whole world, and all of them consider her their best friend. she has this uncanny and precocious ability as an 18 year old to see the world past her own nose. i'm sure that's why so many people love her. she is wise beyond her years and compassionate beyond her years. and my grandparents are just these amazing, God-fearing people who live their lives to please him and love people. my pawpaw was my favorite man in the whole entire world until i met my husband. and i have these great, interesting cousins and uncles and aunts, too.

and i love my in-laws. how about that, huh? they loved me immediately, the second they met me. i never have had to prove anything to them, except that i love their son. which had to be obvious. lisa is the sweetest woman, and bruce is a hilarious man who is devoted to his family. my new sisters-in-law are wonderful, and wow, just the whole family is great.

i guess what i've found is the key to my happiness is to surround myself with people who are full of love that spills out of them, and to lavish them with love as well. just to love and be loved in return, like in moulin rouge.